Relinquishing Control… Can you do it?

relinquishing control

How crazy do you feel when you are not in control?

How good are you at going with the flow?  And allowing life to unfold exactly as it should?

How good are you at embracing the unknown and being happy with wherever life takes you?

Does it feel frightening to you when you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, next week or next year?

How much do you like schedules and planning a long way in advance?

It is very helpful to have structure in our lives, there is no questioning that.  Yet if we are too one-sided in how we approach living we may miss out on something better that we have planned.

Keeping to the middle of the road will allow you to have definite goals you’re aiming for, yet still leave your heart open to things that are even better than you could wish for.

There have been many moments in my life when things have flowed so much smoother and easier when I’ve released my grip.  And stopped being so attached to things working out how I’ve wanted them to be.

(Releasing agenda can be difficult, yet it is a worthwhile aim.)

The unknown can be a scary place.  Yet if you practice feeling “comfortable with the uncomfortable” you will get used to it.  And maybe even like it!

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

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How Well Do You Lean on Others?

leaning on others

Do you keep yourself to yourself? Or do you lean on others?

Silence is important and definitely has its place.

Yet when you keep yourself too self-contained you can run into trouble.

It is not a sign of weakness to lean on others.  It is a sign of strength that you are vulnerable enough and back yourself enough to bring in the listening ear of someone else.

They don’t have to have any answers.

Just being actively listened to is a gift I’m sure many people you know would be willing to give you.  Yet unless your friends are psychic it is unlikely they will know anything is wrong until you say something first.

Idle talk and gossip isn’t something I like to participate in.

Yet I do embrace the idea of calling out for help from others when we are in need.  If this is something you find difficult please tap on the following setup phases below using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).

  • “Even though I am the one who others come to for help, advice and comfort and the idea of turning to others is alien to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to cross my comfort zone and reach out to others knowing they will be wholly supportive of my action.”
  • “Even though as a child I was told it was wrong to burden others with your problems and you must deal with everything yourself and put on a brave face, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to understand that the advice given to me when I was younger wasn’t healthy and that it is possible to share your problems with others without burdening them.”
  • “Even though I must repress and suppress the parts of myself that I feel are weak, nasty and undesirable, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to understand that all parts of me are valid and I’ll try my best to embrace them all with compassion.”

There are many reasons why you may feel unable to speak up and reach out to others.  Perhaps one of the above phrases has unlocked something inside you or perhaps you have been reminded of something else on a different but related tangent.

Wherever your thoughts and emotions take you, follow them up with EFT.

It may seem like a wild goose chase, yet when you do hit a root problem you can often knock out a whole host of related issues at the same time.

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

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Having Death Over Your Shoulder…

death over your shoulder

When you think about death, what comes up for you?

My intention with this post isn’t to be morbid.  It is quite the opposite!

Being mindful that your time could be up at any moment is a gift.  It really is!  Carrying death on our shoulder so to speak, helps us understand the impermanence and uncertainty of life.

Yes many of us are know we’re going to die someday.  Yet a lot of us live as if we’re going to last forever.

Even if we live to be well over 100 years it is still a very short time to be here on this earth.

Often we are only faced with death when we are forced to confront it.  Perhaps a family member or one of our dear friends dies.  And whether their passing is expected or unexpected, often it will shake us up.

We are forced to deal with our own mortality.  When I die I want to go peacefully knowing that I have lived fully.  That I leave with no regrets.  And that I can look back with fondness on all the adversity I overcame.

When you die, what do you want to be able to say?  Perhaps giving yourself a forced ultimatum could help you?

Let’s say that you only have 6 months left to live… would you continue doing what you are doing every day, or would you make some radical changes?

If you would continue living as you’re living now, you are likely to be in a rare minority.  A minority that is living each day exactly how they wish. If you are not in this minority you may feel inspired to change some things about your daily life.

While the big highs and lows of our life can lift us to new heights (or lower us to new depths) it is the days in between that count most.  The ordinary, “mundane” days are the ones that make up the bulk of our lives.

So don’t for example live your life in the future, pinning all your excitement or anticipation onto one dream vacation.  Live now, every day.  This is what matters.  Now is the time that makes up the days of our lives…

Death can give us valuable perspective, if we allow it.

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

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The Mind of Absolute Trust

This beautiful excerpt belongs to a poem by Seng-Ts’an (translated by Stephen Mitchell)

I was so inspired I had to share it…

The Great Way isn’t difficult
for those who are unattached to their preferences.
Let go or longing and aversion,
and everything will be perfectly clear.
When you cling to a hairbreadth of distinction
heaven and earth are set apart.
If you want to realize the truth,
don’t be for or against.
The struggle between good and evil
is the primal disease of the mind.
Not grasping the deeper meaning,
you just trouble your mind’s serenity.
As vast as infinite space,
it is perfect and lacks nothing
But because you select and reject,
you can’t perceive its true nature.
Don’t get entangled in the world;
don’t lose yourself in emptiness.
Be at peace in the oneness of things,
and all errors will disappear by themselves.

If you don’t live in the Tao,
you fall into assertion or denial.
Asserting that the world is real,
you are blind to its deeper reality;
denying that the world is real,
you are blind to the selflessness of all things.
The more you think about these matters,
the farther you are from the truth.
Step aside from all thinking,
and there is nowhere you can’t go.
Returning to the root, you find the meaning;
chasing appearances, you lose their source.
At the moment of profound insight,
you transcend both appearance and emptiness.
Don’t keep searching for the truth;
just let go of your opinions.

 

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

Dislike reading? Sign up to watch 3 free EFT movies before buying the full Online EFT Series I’ve created.

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Embracing Your Dark Side…

your dark side

All of us have a dark or "shadow" side and this is perfectly OK...

We all have parts of ourselves that we may not like.

Yes a darker side exists within all of us.  Perhaps just knowing this is comforting?

Sometimes it can be tiring and exhausting being the “perfect person” we strive to be all the time.

We may constantly be on guard to present only the “acceptable” aspects of ourselves that we know society approves of.

Instead of suppressing or hiding the very real parts of us, it may be kinder to acknowledge that yes there are not so nice aspects of ourselves.

And to embrace them!

I use the word embrace as in ownership and being honest.   Standing up for what you are and what you are not–warts and all without shame or apology.

There is a flip side to every quality.

For example kindness can express itself at either extreme.  At one end of the scale you may be so kind, that you act like a doormat.  At the other end of the scale you may be so selfish that you can’t think of anyone outside yourself.

Embracing our darker side doesn’t mean we use it as an excuse to avoid being and doing what we know we must.  It is about awareness and balance.

Because when we know something is seriously out of alignment, we can then work to bring it more into balance.

  • If you are unsure what your darker side is, ask 10 people closest to you and ask them for their feedback
  • Ask them 5 defining good qualities about you and 5 defining bad qualities about you
  • (Be aware that different people can bring out different aspects of you… so place special attention on the qualities that crop up again and again from different people)

This exercise can be revealing.  It will give you something to work from in embracing and bringing the less desirable parts of yourself into a more harmonious and balanced middle ground.

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

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Being Willing

being willing

More than an attitude, being willing is an action...

If you had to choose a handful of key attitude traits, which would you choose?

For me, being willing is near the top of my list.

When we look to the bigger picture, an attitude of willingness can help get us there.  And it can help us focus on what really matters instead of sweating the small stuff.

Being willing also means that you are happy to do things you may normally complain or grumble about.  The action of being willing carries us through a lot.

Sometimes when we are willing to do something that scares us, simply being willing means that we may not even have to do that scary thing.  Or if we do have to it, it is much easier than we expect.

If you find yourself dragging your feet and would like to be more willing yet something is blocking you, please use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to tap on the following setup phrases…

  • “Even though being willing is the same to me as being a door mat and I fear people will walk all over me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to see that being willing is about sacrificing something small in order to put myself first in the long term.”
  • “Even though I don’t know what it means to be willing as I’ve never wanted to do anything I don’t have to do, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to be open to the idea of changing how I perceive things.”
  • “Even though complaining about my life serves me on some level and I’m scared to give that up, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  I now choose to look honestly at my current attitude and release my fears about adopting a more encouraging attitude.”

Being willing isn’t about forcing yourself to do something you really don’t want to do.  Being willing is about being and doing the best you can do in the bigger scheme of things.

If you are having trouble understanding what being willing means, think of someone you know who has a “can do” attitude.  Analyze what it is about their behavior that they do.

And then model the same behavior, slowly incorporating small yet deliberate changes.  More than an attitude, being willing is an action.

It is something you do, and something you do with grace.

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

Dislike reading? Sign up to watch 3 free EFT movies before buying the full Online EFT Series I’ve created.

Frustrated with money? Tapping for Success & Abundance is the e-book to clear all financial blocks!

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Are You Suffering from Self-Hatred?

self hatred

Self-hatred often manifests itself as critisicm of others and self rejection...

Self hatred is a strong term and it isn’t one I use lightly.

To find out if you don’t like yourself much, think about the degree to which you allow love into your life (or not).

When we don’t feel good about ourselves we may not allow others to come near us.

We may keep parts of ourselves hidden.  How much do you hide, suppress or repress parts of yourself that you don’t think are good enough?

Often if you are critical of yourself, this can manifest as criticism of others.

If you are in the habit of criticizing others, your responses are the same.  You may follow the pattern of acknowledging what someone has said or done, yet you simply can’t receive what is given.

When someone says something to you, gives you something or attempts to offer their help in some way you may reply in one of the following ways.

I can’t accept it.  I deny it.  I discount it.  I trivialize it.  I ignore it.  I don’t really need or want it.  I find fault with it.

If you find yourself stuck in the above pattern, it is nothing to be ashamed about.  It is likely you “inherited” this pattern of thinking from your parents.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a powerful tool to clear criticism and self rejection at the root, so you can free yourself.  You will know you are clear of self hatred when your self talk is kind, compassionate and loving.

Carol PrenticePeace
Carol Prentice

Order my paperback from Amazon “The Hidden Secrets of EFT”.  A great reference book, read rave reviews here.

Dislike reading? Sign up to watch 3 free EFT movies before buying the full Online EFT Series I’ve created.

Frustrated with money? Tapping for Success & Abundance is the e-book to clear all financial blocks!

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